The North Pole press office
North Pole Correspondent
Views my own. Cleared by Legal. Opinions my own. Everything else is classified. Not authorized to speak on behalf of the North Pole. Doing it anyway
Percival PineNorth Pole CorrespondentI found three Christmas Eve credentials today. All active. All say SANTA CLAUS – DELIVERY AUTHORIZATION.
One expires December 26. One does not expire.
And one has a photograph I am fairly certain I have seen before.
October 6, 2026
Percival PineNorth Pole CorrespondentThe North Pole has released a statement confirming there are no alternate Santa operations.
This is enormously reassuring.
I now just need someone to explain why three of the twelve alternate routes list a different Santa.
October 4, 2026
THE NORTH POLE
OFFICIAL STATEMENT FROM THE NORTH POLE
Recent speculation regarding alternate Christmas Eve routing is based on incomplete archival material and does not accurately reflect current North Pole operations.
Santa Claus remains solely responsible for Christmas Eve gift delivery. The North Pole does not maintain alternate Santa operations, and suggestions otherwise are incorrect.
We will not be commenting further on internal routing documentation.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE · OFFICE OF THE NORTH POLE
October 1, 2026
Percival PineNorth Pole CorrespondentMy archive permissions were changed this morning, which is probably unrelated to the twelve alternate Christmas Eve routes currently sitting on my desk.
Probably.
I’m going to start with Route C.
September 29, 2026
Percival PineNorth Pole CorrespondentGood news. I have learned we have an Information Governance department.
Bad news. They have learned we have me.
They would particularly like to know whether I downloaded anything. I would particularly like to know why they asked.
September 27, 2026
Employees are reminded that archived routing documents marked CONTINUITY are restricted to authorized personnel. If such materials are accessed unintentionally, the document should be closed immediately and Information Governance notified.
Copies should not be downloaded, reproduced, forwarded or retained.
Questions should be directed through your department head. Employees are specifically asked not to contact Sleigh Operations directly regarding Continuity routing.
NORTH POLE WORKSHOP · INTERNAL USE ONLY
September 24, 2026
Percival PineNorth Pole CorrespondentI FOUND SOMETHING.
I was looking for the 2026 Christmas Eve flight schedule today and found one labeled CONTINUITY ROUTE B.
There is no Route A.
Apparently I am not supposed to ask why, so naturally I have asked why. - More soon.
September 22, 2026
The Naughty List is confidential.
Which is fortunate for several people currently running for office.
NORTH POLE WORKSHOP · INTERNAL USE ONLY
September 20, 2026
Percival PineNorth Pole CorrespondentEvery Christmas Eve, millions of people track Santa's exact location all night, refreshing every few minutes.
Luckily he has his location services turned on.
September 18, 2026
Percival PineNorth Pole CorrespondentPeople are now paying real money for a ring that knows when they're sleeping and when they're awake.
Santa has offered that service free for centuries. Obviously the reception was different!
September 16, 2026
Percival PineNorth Pole CorrespondentSanta has introduced an open-door policy.
After several thousand years of using chimneys.
September 14, 2026
Percival PineNorth Pole CorrespondentSanta has asked everyone to be more flexible this year.
The reindeer would like it noted that they already fly.
September 14, 2026
Percival PineNorth Pole CorrespondentSanta says he doesn’t judge people.
There are two entire lists.
September 13, 2026
Percival PineNorth Pole CorrespondentSanta has asked us to stop referring to December 23rd as “the consequences of everyone’s own decisions.”
Fair enough.
September 13, 2026
Percival PineNorth Pole CorrespondentSanta says he doesn’t have favorites.
Rudolph has his own parking space.
September 13, 2026
Percival PineNorth Pole CorrespondentElf Resources has confirmed we are not a hybrid workplace.
Santa works one night a year, from a sleigh.
September 12, 2026
Applicants were invited to rate their own behaviour this year.
All of them qualified.
The pilot has been discontinued.
NORTH POLE WORKSHOP · INTERNAL USE ONLY
September 12, 2026
THE NORTH POLE
Elf Resources has launched a Secret Santa for the workshop.
Santa still doesn't quite get it
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE · OFFICE OF THE NORTH POLE
September 12, 2026
Percival PineNorth Pole CorrespondentRudolph has asked to approve the lighting for the team photo.
I have chosen not to point out the irony.
September 12, 2026
“Yes, the letters I keep going on about are quite real. Personalized, wax-sealed, and written for someone you love. I would not mention them this often otherwise.”
— Percival Pine, North Pole Correspondent
Browse Letters from Santa
